Pagtrader: News Page! Give us your money!
As more and more jorkers jingle their junguses, the time of the year rolls to around when coca cola sales peak. Coca colas advertises their drink as family freindly and completely normal, but a dark truth hides below the surface. In this completely factual article, the pagtrader news team will dive into the secret horrors which permeate coca cola's production plants.
Firstestly, when I entered a coca cola production plant, i was told to leave because I was "tresspassing" and "that's against the law" and "help there is a crazed man chasing me." Eventually, I gained the trust of the plant workers who now thought i was the CEO after i stole his skin (dont worry i gave it back). With the employees fooled, I made my way through the factory, and what I saw as horrid. They were dumping underperforming employees into the vats, and boiling piglets alive. I even saw them stealing childrens foreskins the moment they were born. Soon, I was running from the facility, but my skin suit fell off and one of the employees tried to steal my foreskin. It was terrifying.
After escaping, I bombed the facility.
I emailed coca cola management to see if they would respond, but the bastards only said i should "seek mental help" and "go to the psych ward" and "please leave us alone." I know they are hiding it. They dont want the public to know.
It was then i discovered the AI generated advertisement they had made. I know the real reason they used ai. The upper management ATE ALL OF THE ANIMATORS!! They trapped the animators in a cave and ate them!!! This information was revealed to me in a psychic dream after i drnak 29 beers and went for a little drive, so I kNOW it is true. They did not repsonde to any of my questiosn regarding this either. Once again, they are trying to hide the fact that the AI companies have created a portal to hell and that AI is actually satan. They are in deals with the devils.
If you want to help stop coca cola\, you can stop buying their product. if they go bankrupt, we will win!!!